THOUGHTS · FAITH · PERSPECTIVE

Why I Read the Bible – and Why My Answer Does Not Sound Particularly Christian

By Michaya Angel · 14 August 2025 · approx. 8 min read

Not out of duty.
Not out of fear.
But because I wanted to understand for myself.

German Version

✦✦✦

What is this article about?

How my journey began with fear
Why the question of hell would not let me go
What I could not simply accept
Why I chose to dig deeper for myself
What hope I see in it today

If someone had told me a few years ago that one day I would read the Bible voluntarily, I probably would have laughed.

Not because I had no interest in faith at all. But because, for a long time, the Bible felt like a heavy, dry book to me — far removed from everyday life, and even further removed from the questions that actually mattered to me.

I did not feel as though I would find anything there that had much to do with my own life.

And I certainly never expected that this very book would one day lead me to question so many things I had previously taken for granted.

Fear Was My Starting Point – Not Devotion

The reason I eventually began reading was, of all things, a subject that frightened me:

Heaven and hell.

The idea that a person could be lost forever because of one short life would not leave me alone.

What if you believe the wrong thing?
What if you do not understand something?
What if you have doubts?
What if you simply do not fit the religious image you are being presented with?

Questions like these can become very heavy when the answer always seems to be:

Believe the right thing — or face consequences for eternity.

At some point, I no longer wanted to hear only what other people had to say about it.
I wanted to know for myself what the text actually says.

What I Could Not Let Go of About the Doctrine of Hell

To this day, I find messages of faith especially difficult when they make people feel small, ashamed, or afraid — and then justify it in the name of God.

If faith ultimately tells us:

“There is something wrong with you. And if you do not believe the right way, you will be punished.”

… then I want to know where that message actually comes from.

Is that really what the text says?
Or have translations, traditions, and centuries of interpretation shaped our picture more deeply than we realise?
At some point, that question became more important to me than ready-made answers.

Because if God truly is love, then I wanted to understand how that fits with an image of God that functions primarily through fear.

Not to explain away the difficult passages.
But because I wanted to know what they actually say.

Why I Read for Myself Today

The more I read, the more I began to notice how much depends on how we read a text.
Which translation are we using?
What do the original words mean?
What was the historical context?
Who was a particular passage addressed to?
And what actually comes before and after it?

Some statements I once thought were completely clear suddenly looked very different in context.
For me, that does not mean I now have a certain answer to every question. Quite the opposite — today, I probably have more questions than I used to.
But I am less afraid of them.

I Do Not Read the Bible Today to Confirm Ready-Made Answers

I read it because I want to understand.
I compare translations. I look closely at words and their meanings. I read different perspectives. And sometimes, in the process, I change my mind.
For me, that is not a sign of weak faith.

❝A faith that cannot withstand questions would feel far too narrow for me.❞

A Translation I Like to Use

Concordant Literal New Testament (CLNT)

Close to the original text. Unfamiliar. And sometimes revealing precisely because of that.

I find the CLNT especially interesting in passages where familiar biblical terms suddenly appear in a different light. It reminds me that every translation already involves decisions about how a word should be rendered. The CLNT also tries to translate the terms of the Greek text as consistently and uniformly as possible.

I Also Like to Use the New American Standard Bible (NASB)

In my German reading, I often use the Elberfelder Bible for comparison because it stays very close to the original Hebrew and Greek texts. For English readers, the New American Standard Bible (NASB) is probably one of the closest equivalents in terms of translation philosophy. In fact, there are bilingual editions that place the Elberfelder Bible and the NASB side by side. Both aim to remain closely connected to the wording and structure of the original texts.

The NASB can therefore be especially useful when comparing passages and looking more closely at individual words and formulations.

My tip: Do not rely on just one Bible translation. Comparing them is worth it.

What This Has Changed for Me

I believe differently today than I used to. Not necessarily less. But more freely.
I do not need to have an answer to everything straight away.
I am allowed to say:

I do not understand this.

I struggle with this.

This interpretation does not convince me.

I want to dig deeper here.

And perhaps that is one of the reasons I now enjoy reading the Bible so much. Not because I always find easy answers there, but because the texts keep drawing me back to look more closely.

What I Hope to Achieve with My Articles

I do not want my articles to create another box for people to fit their faith into.
And I do not want to tell anyone what they are supposed to believe.
What matters to me is asking questions. Questioning things that may have sounded self-evident for years. Looking at Bible passages in their context. And above all, encouraging people not to let fear force them into faith.
If my writing helps someone look at the Bible, at God, or even at their own questions with just a little more freedom, then for me, it has already achieved something.

❝Faith should not make life feel narrower.
It should leave room to breathe.❞